A friend said this to me after I vented about my recent apartment move. I am living alone (well, until I get a roommate :) ). I have no furniture and no "home" possessions. My first night I prepared and ate dinner with 1 knife. I forgot I didn't own silverware. My second night the toilet clogged and the smoke alarm wouldn't stop beeping- so I slept at my sisters (grateful for the good excuse). The third night, I was with my friend Meridith and one long convo and a fajita dinner later, the toilet again clogged- this time around it was TWICE as bad (if you catch my drift). Between the laughing, crying and plunging, Meridith prayed over the toilet for it's release. Instantly the toilet unclogged! HA! They must have toilets in heaven. God seemed to understand our turmoil.
Although hilarious- this experience did not improve my attitude about this apartment.
Does anyone else cringe at the idea of growing up? I always have. Growing up I would plop myself onto my parents bed and express my wish to stop time. To freeze life from moving forward. Not to die, but sort of. A bit morbid.
I thought living on my own would be good for me. I'm sure it will be- but 2 weeks in (I know, not long)- I hate it. Is it that I don't have a closet to share, or that I have to buy my own set of silverware, towels, etc.? Whatever it is, I am embarrassed at my newly discovered aversion.
All this to say, I have begun rethinking my aspirations to be independent. I hold the belief that one should be strong enough to live with out anyone else. But perhaps humans need eachother and meant to take care of one another. In fact, it doesn't take much to notice that humans are naturally inclined to lend one another a hand.
Maybe my reluctance to grow up is motivated by the realization that I am moving farther away from being taken care of- of relying on others- of considering others.
Is this as pathetic as it sounds?
If independence is such a good thing, why do these independent people seem prideful? If it's a strong characteristics, why do those who fully fend for themself have less patience? If being on your own is a mark of maturity, why can it lead to being stuck in your ways and unable to adapt to others?
I'd like to suggest that we should be less eager to be independent and aspire more towards communion. Being apart of a fellowship, taking advice, giving insight, considering others, taking help - isn't that growth? Growing up should not be pulling away from others, it should be allowing yourself to pull closer to others. Being brave enough to be honest and vulnerable. Have humility to accept anothers contribution and counsel. Realizing that we do need one another. Needing one another isn't for the weak- I think it's a path to strength.
I wonder if a community that has no choice but to depend on one another is actually experiencing an aspect of life more fully. If so, is being able to independently take care of yourself the ideal man is supposed to strive towards? I don't think so. One might feel strong and self-sufficient, but perhaps much more susceptable to selfishness and loneliness.
When I was in Uganda I noticed that these children have grown up in one large community- eating, playing, sleeping, fighting, living together. You can hardly tell who is brother and sister- they are so familar with one another. How cool. How rich. The capacity our hearts have to deeply know, love and fellowship with one another is evident in the relationships they share.
Think about the capacity life has for depth in love and relationships. Don't seek independence, seek depth in relationships. Love a lot. Let people love you. Don't grow up. Kid's are much more willing to give a hug, to make a new friend, to ask for what they need - sounds liberating to me.
Just some thoughts. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
